God Dammit I Dont Want to Do This Again

Angry Fish Tank Guy

Posted at: 2013-06-10 13:08:26 | 24080 comments | Add together Comment

Original ad:
55 gallon tank neat condition.no scratches. comes with filter. $125. 484-***-****. Phone call ME Merely - NO EMAILS. 484-***-****

From Me to Felix *********:

Hey,

That fish tank is beautiful. I must have it! Is it notwithstanding for auction?

Mike

From Felix ********* to Me:

CALL THE NUMBER

From Me to Felix *********:

What number?

From Felix ********* to Me:

484-***-****

From Me to Felix *********:

I but chosen that number and nobody answered.

From Felix ********* to Me:

i never heard it ring. phone call again and leave a message if no answer.

From Me to Felix *********:

I just called once again. Nobody picked up so I went to leave you a bulletin, only information technology said your voicemail was full.

From Felix ********* to Me:

my voicemail isnt full the telephone never rang. are yous calling the right number? 484-***-****

From Me to Felix *********:

I but called the number again and I got a fax machine racket. Is there a trick to dialing your number?

From Felix ********* to Me:

what trick??? its a phone number you lot but dial it!

From Me to Felix *********:

Are you lot certain you lot didn't requite me the number to a fax machine? Would you rather communicate through fax? That would actually be easier for me.

From Felix ********* to Me:

NO!

From Me to Felix *********:

I wasn't sure what to practise, so I sent you a fax. Did y'all go it?

From Felix ********* to Me:

DONT SEND ME A FAX

From Felix ********* to Me:

STOP SENDING ME FAXES

From Felix ********* to Me:

SERIOUSLY End TRYOING TO SEND FAX! It WONT Piece of work BECAUSE ITS A Jail cell Telephone!!!

From Me to Felix *********:

Can't you merely set your prison cell phone to fax auto way?

From Felix ********* to Me:

what the hell is fax machine mode? jail cell phones dont accept that!

From Felix ********* to Me:

OMG dude Enough WITH THE FAXES!!!!!!

From Me to Felix *********:

Sorry, I set the fax machine to attempt sending the fax every fifteen minutes until information technology goes through. It was the office fax car and I already left for the weekend. Tin can this wait until Monday?

From Felix ********* to Me:

NO It Deceit WAIT UNTIL MONDAY ARE You lot FUCKING KIDDING ME

From Felix ********* to Me:

Go Back TO YOUR OFFICE AND CANCEL IT Right NOW

From Me to Felix *********:

My apologies, I can't go dorsum. I'one thousand at the aerodrome and my flight to Vancouver leaves in an 60 minutes and a half. I'll cancel the fax on Mon when I get back.

From Felix ********* to Me:

HEY! NO! FUCK THAT YOU Better Find A WAY AND Abolish THIS SHIT RIGHT At present!!!! Phone call SOMEBODY AT THE OFFICE Brand THEM DO IT I'M FUCKING SERIOUS

From Me to Felix *********:

Nobody is at the function, it is 6:thirty! Actually, you know what? The janitor might be there. We are pretty good friends. Do you lot want me to contact him?

From Felix ********* to Me:

YES

From Me to Felix *********:

Okay, I gave him your info. He'southward going to call you shortly. I'm on the aeroplane at present and they are making us turn our cell phones off for takeoff. Good luck!

From Felix ********* to Me:

DONT Take HIM CALL ME YOU IDIOT JUST Take HIM CANCEL THE FAX

From Me to Felix *********:

This is an automated out-of-office respond from Mike Partlow:

I volition be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Monday, June 10th. I volition not be checking my emails until I return. Accept a great weekend, eh?

From Felix ********* to Me:

GOD DAMMIT

From Me to Felix *********:

This is an automated out-of-office respond from Mike Partlow:

I will be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Mon, June 10th. I will non be checking my emails until I return. Have a keen weekend, eh?

===================================

I made some other email account equally Dave the Janitor...

===================================

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

Hi in that location! Is this Felix? Mike told me to contact you virtually buying a fish tank. I'm Dave, the janitor at Mike's office. I tried calling the number he gave me just it sounded like a fax car or something, so I am emailing y'all instead.

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

yes hi dave here's the situation. mike has no thought how phones piece of work and tried to send a fax to my phone using the fax motorcar at his office. now my phone is getting a call from the fax machine every 15 minutes. he said you tin can abolish the fax?

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

Mike didn't mention anything about a fax auto to me. He told me to buy a fish tank from you and he'd get it from me on Monday.

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

oh jesus christ...no... he was supposed to tell you lot to abolish the fax that keeps calling my phone. are you lot at his office? can you lot terminate the fax?

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

So you aren't selling the fish tank?

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

look forget the fish tank just terminate the fax machine, Please!!

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

Why are you and then worried virtually this fax machine? Can't you only plow your cell phone to fax manner?

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

that isnt a thing! look im washed screwing effectually here. just stop the fax machine, ok?

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

Tell you what, I'll cancel the fax machine if you drib the price on the fish tank to $75.

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

wait im in no mood to haggle with a janitor over a fucking fish tank.

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

Excuse me? "with a janitor?" What is that supposed to mean? What if I had a fancy rich person task as an investment banker? Would you haggle with me then? I don't similar your condescending tone, buddy. I know being a janitor isn't the virtually desirable job, but I gotta put nutrient on the table for my kids somehow! Sorry I'one thousand not an astronaut with a degree in brain surgery! You're in no mood to argue with a janitor? Well guess what? I am in no mood to plough off fax machines for a rude, snobby, patronizing fish tank owner!

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

i didnt mean to insult yous. i like janitors. im sorry! tin can you please simply turn off the fax machine!

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

Fine. But I am telling Mike what you said to me and I don't recollect he will desire to buy a fish tank from yous subsequently that. Are you this rude to your fish? Oh I'm Felix! Sorry, I'k in no mood to feed a goldfish! Maybe if you were a $500 Blueface Angel fish I would feed you.

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

......are you lot washed?

From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:

Yes, I stopped the fax. Deplorable information technology took me and then long to effigy out how to cancel it. I'm merely a janitor. What do I know about fax machines? I don't accept a fancy caste in fax machine engineering.

From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:

yeah aye.... thats enough. thanks bye

===================================

A few days later, from my original email account...

===================================

From Me to Felix *********:

Felix,

I merely got back from Canada to detect out you were belittling my janitor? Dave is one of the best janitors I have ever had the pleasure of working with, then you lot meliorate watch your mouth. You think you are better than him or something? Large words coming from a guy who doesn't even own a fax machine. Y'all tin forget about me ownership your fish tank!

Mike

From Felix ********* to Me:

skilful because im not selling anything to a stupid FUCK who cant even effigy out how to dial a phone number!!!!!!!

From Me to Felix *********:

Please, stop harassing me and Dave. Y'all've done plenty. Leave usa lone.

From Felix ********* to Me:

oh im harassing You? the dumbass who sets a fax to send me every 15 minutes so LEAVES THE FUCKING Land? you know how many times that fax motorcar called me y'all stupid piece of shit you take the nervus to say IM harassing You lot? go fuck yourself you fucking fuckhead!!!!!!

From Me to Felix *********:

This is an automated out-of-role reply from Mike Partlow:

Hola! I will be on vacation in United mexican states until Monday, June 17th and will not be checking my email until I return. Adios, amigos!

Stubborn Shovel Seller

Posted at: 2012-08-29 06:27:thirteen | 3889 comments | Add Comment

Original ad:
Pole hedge trimmer for auction - Homelite electrical hedge trimmer. Great status. $l OBO. Email me at russ*******@gmail.com.

From Me to Russ *******:

Hey Russ,

That'due south a really nice shovel yous have in the motion picture. Is it for sale?

Mike

From Russ ******* to Me:

Sorry guy. Just selling the hedge trimmer.

From Me to Russ *******:

I'll give you lot $10 for the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Cant yous read? The shovel isnt for sale.

From Me to Russ *******:

You drive a hard bargain on the shovel. I'll give you $15 for information technology, and that is my terminal offer.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Here is my final offer: shut the hell up and leave me alone!

========================================================

Later, from another electronic mail account...

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Hey I'm emailing yous about the shovel. Your request cost of $10 sounds fair to me. And with the free extention cord, that is a steal. I'll take information technology!

From Russ ******* to Me:

What are you on about? The shovel isn't for auction.

From Me to Russ *******:

Excuse me? That's not what your ad says.

From Russ ******* to Me:

My ad says nothing nearly the shovel. I'm selling the hedge trimmer, not the shovel. Look again. Nowhere is a shovel mentioned.

From Me to Russ *******:

Quit dicking me around. This ad says y'all are selling the shovel!

I can assure you I am not Jewish then you tin stop pretending yous aren't selling the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Oh my god...I swear I didnt put that upwards. Somebody is messing with me!

From Russ ******* to Me:

Can yous send me the link to that ad and then I can have them have information technology down?

From Me to Russ *******:

Pitiful, I can't detect the link anymore. My married woman needed to use the estimator so I had to delete my browsing history because I was looking at porn before. It was somewhere in the stuff for sale section, if I'm not mistaken...and then does this mean I tin't purchase your shovel?

========================================================

From another email account...

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Dear Anti-Semite douchebag,

I got a bone to selection with you. I came across your ad in my search for a new shovel and it seemed like a great deal. Until I read your icky comment near not selling the shovel to Jewish people. How the hell exercise you call back that is acceptable in this day and age? What does information technology affair what organized religion someone is for you lot to sell them a shovel? This is admittedly despicable and an outrage to the Jewish community. You make me sick.

Sincerely NOT buying your shovel of hatred,

Mordecai Goldstein

From Russ ******* to Me:

I don't take a problem with jews at all! Someone else put that advertising upward to mess with me and I deceit find where it is! Can you send me the link to the advert please??

From Me to Russ *******:

Why don't yous shovel your Nazi bullshit to someone else? This "Jew" isn't buying it!

========================================================

He finally decided to e-mail my original account:

========================================================

From Russ ******* to Me:

Look yous piddling prick I know you put that fucking advertisement upward and you demand to take it the fuck downwardly RIGHT NOW. I'm not selling the fucking shovel Become OVER It and quit being immature you son of a bowwow.

From Me to Russ *******:

I'1000 sorry, I idea I was doing yous a favor. I wanted you to run into how many great offers you could get if y'all decided to sell the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

I'M NOT SELLING THE FUCKING SHOVEL Let It Become! Tell me this asshole if you were doing a favor then why did you put that shit about the jews in there???

From Me to Russ *******:

I detected some strong anti-Semitic undertones in our initial conversation...I just assumed y'all were an anti-Semite. My apologies.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Accept THE Advert Down

========================================================

I emailed him i last time, from another account.

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Good afternoon!

I saw your ad for the shovel for sale. I'one thousand more interested in the axe yous have in that picture. Are you selling the axe? I'll give you lot $20 cash for it.

- Dave

Glorious Master Translator

Posted at: 2012-04-23 17:29:34 | 2584 comments | Add together Comment

Original advertizing:
I need someone who speaks japanese to help me translate something. wont have too long. please electronic mail me ASAP!

From Me to ************@***********.org:

Hi! Y'all demand Japanese interpret? I Chan, I help you with translate.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

hey chan. then ok heres the bargain. my cd player all of a sudden stopped working and i cant figure out why. for some reason the merely transmission i have is entirely in japanese. i took a pic of the page im pretty certain its the problem shooting part. can you encounter if information technology says anything well-nigh no audio coming from the output?

From Me to Scott *******:

Ok, I find three affair may assist you:

"Failure of Sound from Device"
"Skipping of disc for poor sound"
"Audio volume low very much"

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

umm..what does it say for the failure of audio 1?

From Me to Scott *******:

"Hello and cheers for chose glorious chief CD role player! Apologies many for trouble of product. To set up failure of the sound, follow step:

1. Unplug glorious master CD thespian
2. Plug glorious chief CD thespian back in"

I hope this help!

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

that doesnt assist me at all. is that all information technology says?

From Me to Scott *******:

Oh no! Very deplorable. At that place more steps to aid you! Here:

"If however experience failure of the audio, your glorious principal CD player possessed by audio demon. To blackball audio demon, follow step:

1. Ignite 7 candle
ii. Pray to Benzaiten, Goddess of Music
three. Benzaiten will banish audio demon to eternal suffering
4. Try play CD again

If you fail banishing of audio demon, you lot failure. Much dishonor of family name. Suggest firsthand death by Seppuku."

I hope you banish sound demon! Much luck.

- Chan

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf? does it really say that?

From Me to Scott *******:

I just translate what you give.

From Scott ******* to Me:

no way it says that. what kind of useless manual is this? how is that supposed to help anyone?

From Me to Scott *******:

Very lamentable, sound demon big trouble with many CD histrion! I accept sword, much precipitous, skilful for seppuku. You want borrow?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf are yous talking almost. an audio demon? this is BS. are you screwing with me?

From Scott ******* to Me:

did i transport the wrong folio? i think this is the table of contents. can you look at this and tell me which page is the troubleshooting i? then ill send you that i

From Me to Scott *******:

That no table of content, that Sushi take-out carte du jour! Try #16, Spicy Salmon Roll! Much delicious!

From Scott ******* to Me:

..........ok buddy. cheers for nothing you jackass


After, from another electronic mail account


From Me to *********@*********.org:

Hey there,

I saw your advertizement and think I tin help you. I majored in Japanese in college, speak it fluently, and lived in Miyazaki for two years.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

thank you and then much mike. i was talking to someone else for help, but idk what his trouble was. dude kept sending me all this BS. anyhow my cd player isnt working and the manual is only in japanese then i demand help reading the troubleshooting part. i think the attached picture is the table of contents, could you see if it says what page the troubleshooting part is on and then ill ship you that?

From Me to Scott *******:

You lot sent me a sushi accept-out menu. Are you sure you have the correct documents?

From Scott ******* to Me:

wtf!!! i dont know what is going on! it has a picture of the cd player on the forepart and then this is the adjacent page. why would they put a sushi menu in there?

From Me to Scott *******:

Japanese educational activity manuals are not like the American manuals you are used to. They often include advertisements, and I guess in this case, a sushi menu. Looking at information technology closer, it says "Thank you lot for purchasing this glorious chief CD histrion. Why not order sushi while y'all savor music?"

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

well that is dumb...whatever. i think this page is the troubleshooting role considering of the tables. am i right? do you see anything about at that place not being any sound?

From Me to Scott *******:

Yes, this is the right page. It says to unplug it and plug it back in.

Mike

From Scott ******* to Me:

yea i did that. null. is that it?

From Me to Scott *******:

Well, yous're not gonna want to hear this, but it says your CD player is possessed by Amanojaku, or "audio demon." Yous should calorie-free three candles and pray to Benzaiten, the god of music.

Mike

From Me to Scott *******:

Scott? Were you able to banish the sound demon?

Lost

Posted at: 2012-01-24 00:00:00 | 1276 comments | Add together Annotate

Original advertizement:
36" RCA tube Telly for sale. good condition. pickup only. very heavy. outset with $50 gets it. no phone- email but.

From Me to ************@*********.org:

Hey there,

I desire your TV. I have $50 greenbacks and can pick it upward anytime. What is your number? I'll call you lot for directions.

Mike

From Steve ***** to Me:

hi mike. i live at 54 ********* dr. can you go it today? i dont have a phone so just show up and knock on my door. sick be home all day sound good?

From Me to Steve *****:

Sounds good. I'll be over in a few hours.

Cheers,

Mike

From Me to Steve *****:

Hey, I'chiliad on Pughtown Rd right now but I am having problem finding your house. Can you help me out? I pulled over on Wilson Rd and I'll expect for your instructions.

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

i dont live on pughtown. i alive on ******** dr. if you turn rite onto pughtown, then rite on bethel rd from pughtown information technology volition take yous there.

From Me to Steve *****:

Okay, I turned onto Pughtown again just I don't see Bethel Rd. I crossed over a river and now information technology says I am coming upward on Route 113. Am I going the right direction?

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

no. i said make a rite on pughtown. you made a left. turn effectually and go the other style. your non even close and so you have a way to go.

From Me to Steve *****:

Uh...I turned around and I'm nonetheless not seeing Bethel. It looks like I'm at Pughtown and Rt. 100. Should I go downwards that?

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

NO! you collection passed bethel dude Information technology INTERSECTS WITH PUGHTOWN. plough around and it will be on your LEFT

From Me to Steve *****:

I already turned onto Rt. 100 because you took also long to respond. It is kind of hard to plough around on this road. Doesn't 100 intersect with 113? I'one thousand just going to do that and and then loop around back to Pughtown Rd.

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

no dont practise that!! you volition exist on 100 for like 15 miles before that happens! just turn around and become back on pughtown this should exist easy

From Me to Steve *****:

This would be much easier if I could simply call you. What is your phone number?

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

i already told you i dont have a phone. how is this so disruptive to you? where are yous now?

From Me to Steve *****:

I think I'm on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. It says the next get out is King of Prussia in fifteen miles. Should I get off at that exit?

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

dude why the FUCK would you lot get on the turnpike? didnt you observe something was wrong WHEN YOU HAD TO GO THRU A FUCKING Cost???? jesus man you lot are hopeless!

From Me to Steve *****:

Calm down. No need for profanities. I saw the toll and realized something was wrong, but there wasn't anywhere for me to turn around so I just went through it. I accidentally went through the EZ-Laissez passer thing instead of the regular toll and I call up information technology took a picture of my license plate. Should I get off at the King of Prussia get out? I just passed a billboard for Geico insurance, if that helps.

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

i cant assistance you. yous are beyond lost. adjacent time go a fucking GPS if you are this bad with directons

From Me to Steve *****:

Well, I hope you are happy. I just got pulled over for texting while driving, and going 103 in a 65. The cop is running my information correct now.

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

how the fuck is that my fault!?

From Me to Steve *****:

Apparently my registration and insurance are expired, so they are towing my car. Also, they said there is a bench warrant out for my arrest for non paying some speeding ticket I got last twelvemonth. They are taking me to a police station in Norristown. The cop said I should be processed in a few hours. Would you exist able to bail me out? Bring the TV, too. They are taking my phone at present and then I won't be able to talk to y'all after this.

Sent via Blackberry

From Steve ***** to Me:

are you fucking with me? im distressing dude but you are a fucking idiot and im done dealing withyou

==============================
EPILOGUE - SEVERAL DAYS Subsequently
==============================

From Me to Steve *****:

Hey, it is Mike once more. Where were yous? You never came to bail me out. I had to get a bond bondsman and now I owe like $1500. On height of that, they found a bowl and some weed in my automobile, and a little chip of cocaine. I'm getting charged with possession, which is going to cost me a fortune. Plus my speeding ticket which is going to be over $200. Seeing as this is your fault, I recollect you should pay me at to the lowest degree $500 equally bounty. I don't know when I will get my car back so you will have to bring the $500 to me. I live in Due west Chester, when can you come with the money? Also, bring the Boob tube.

Mike

From Steve ***** to Me:

heed upwards you stupid fuckhead. i gave you the easiest directons and you still got fucking lost. did i enquire you to keep the turnpike and get pulled over for speeding similar a fucking idiot? did i ask you to have drugs in your machine? NO. y'all must be smoking crack if you think im giving you $500 and the goggle box. im surprised the cops didnt find fissure in your machine yous fucking crackhead. none of this is my fault yous are just a fucking dipshit that cant follow directons then fuck the fuck off and never email me once more!!!!

oh and i sold the tv to someone else and the guy had no issues finding my house cause HES Not A FUCKING MORON

Special Skaters

Posted at: 2011-11-08 05:25:19 | 1455 comments | Add Annotate

Original advertizement:
Attention all water ice skaters and hockey players! Volunteers needed to train children participating in the Special Olympics hockey team. Anyone with adequate skating skill tin be used to assist teach our athletes to skate. Please phone call 410-***-**** or respond to the email address higher up.
Judy

From Me to ************@**********.org

Judy,

I am writing in response to your ad regarding helping children learn to skate.

I was a legend in small league hockey until my career was cut short by a career ending injury. I still love the game of hockey though and would love to pass on my skills to your wonderful children. I look forrad to hearing from you.

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Mike,

I am sorry to hear about your injury. That is very unfortunate. Are you lot still able to skate? I only ask because nosotros need someone to skate 1-on-one with the children.

Judy

From Me to Judy *******:

Oh aye, I am still able to skate. I recollect you misunderstood me. My career was cut short considering I was banned after causing another histrion to have a career ending injury. It was an unfortunate accident, but the league came down extremely hard on me. It really wasn't fair, if you ask me.

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Yikes! What were the circumstances of the ban/injury, if y'all don't listen me asking?

From Me to Judy *******:

Non at all. Information technology really wasn't a big deal. The guy was fine, but everyone turned information technology into this huge ordeal. During a fight, I bankrupt his centre socket, fish-hooked his cheek apart and slashed his achilles tendon with my skate. He also suffered brain impairment from claret loss, but that is more the paramedics fault than mine for letting him bleed out for so long. Looks like the only sport he'll be playing now is "shitting in a handbag" (heh heh). Anyway, the pussies at the commissioner's part considered it "gross misconduct" and "assault" and gave me a lifetime ban. Can you believe that? I thought this was supposed to be hockey!

And then similar I said, I was a legend in minor league hockey. My nickname used to be "Murderin' Mike" (don't worry, I never actually murdered anyone. It was only a cute nickname). I won more than fights than everyone else in the division combined. In fact, I've just ever lost one fight on the ice. But I won the rematch in the parking lot (thanks, tire iron!) I know everything there is to know near fighting and would beloved to pass on my skills to your kids. If y'all desire them to be the best damn hockey fighters in the special olympics, I am your guy. With my training, the other teams won't stand a chance. The water ice volition be stained with their blood, teeth, and broken dreams.

I am currently in between jobs so I tin can dedicate a lot of fourth dimension to helping out.

Best,

Murderin' Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

What do you lot think this is? The Special Dlympics are for the mentally handicapped. You lot know that, right? What you described is brutally violent and has no place in the Special Olympics. Bluntly I think you deserve to exist in jail. Thank you and goodbye.

From Me to Judy *******:

Whoa there. Don't be so dismissive! Do yous even know anything almost hockey? It sounds to me like yous remember hockey is just soccer on ice. Well I've got news for you, Judy, you couldn't be more wrong. In hockey, nosotros don't fake injuries and have to miss half the season due to a pulled vagina musculus. We fight it out similar men. Fighting is what hockey is all about. It is a tradition that dates back to the first hockey game e'er played. If yous want your kids to learn how to play hockey, they are going to have to learn how to fight.

I'll teach your kids how get abroad with everything without the referee seeing it. I'll testify them how to brand butt-ending, head checking, slashing and tripping wait like an accident. They'll learn how to fight like hockey players. I accept a whole set of moves I similar to use during fights. My personal favorite is the "bowling brawl", where you gouge both of the opponent's eyes and and then jam your thumb into the roof of their mouth. I used that during a fight once and the guy really started convulsing! It struck fear into the eye of the other team and we concluded upward winning the game.

With my expert preparation, your squad volition be the almost feared squad in the entire special olympics. Please reconsider hiring me.

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

You lot aren't coming anywhere nigh these children. Your mental attitude towards this whole thing is disgusting. Its absolutely disturbing that you find this kind of behavior acceptable. Especially for mentally handicapped children. I don't know what kind of insane league you played in simply that is not the level of intensity that's meant for these children.

From Me to Judy *******:

Oh, I become it. You're saying that because these kids are mentally handicapped, that they don't deserve to be treated like regular people? Instead, y'all want to betoken out their disabilities and tell them that they will never exist able to play hockey similar normal people. When I saw in your ad that the kids were mentally challenged, I wasn't fazed. I didn't see kids with disabilities, I saw kids that I could plough into great hockey players. Practise you not want them to exist able to play hockey like everybody else plays it?

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Give me a freaking suspension. You know that isn't what I meant. Don't pull that card on me. You expect me to believe that a violent psychopath like you genuinely wants to assist the mentally challenged play hockey? Yeah, right! Yous don't give a damn virtually these children.

From Me to Judy *******:

Judy,

I am starting to recall that you are the trouble with this team, non the kids. You lot do not take the right attitude to be working with these kids. If you want to tell these kids that they shouldn't learn hockey the right way considering they are mentally challenged, then that is simply sorry. Information technology is a shame that you are taking away the joy of competitive sports from these kids. Competitive sports are bully for kids - it keeps them from turning to drugs and violence in the streets.

Tin can I please talk to your supervisor? I would like to take your position and advise that you lot be fired. You conspicuously practise not accept the right mental attitude to be helping mentally challenged kids.

Sincerely looking forwards to taking your job,

Mike

From Judy ******* to Me:

Sure - her number is i-800-GOTO-HELL

Sincerely washed talking to y'all,

Judy


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This is a collection of e-mails I take sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off.

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